The KALLAX shelf is now a party member in Skyrim. It talks. It has Matt Berry’s voice.
IKEA made an official, free mod for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, and the furniture giant turned one of its best-known products into a companion you recruit and drag around Tamriel. Its name is KALLAX STORAGEBORN. It’s fully voiced, and the voice belongs to Berry, of What We Do in the Shadows.
Nobody had this on their list.
The joke starts with your inventory screen
Every Skyrim player knows the moment. You’ve been hoovering up weapons, armor and garbage trinkets for a few hours, and suddenly the Dragonborn is shuffling along at the pace of a man hauling a washing machine up a staircase.
Encumbrance. The oldest complaint in the game.
IKEA’s fix for that is, of course, more storage space.
You have to build it yourself, obviously
Go overencumbered and a new quest fires. It points you toward an abandoned dungeon, where you scavenge the parts needed to assemble the KALLAX. Even in Skyrim, you don’t get out of IKEA assembly.
Finish the build and the shelf wakes up. From then on it’s a permanent companion with a huge amount of carrying capacity, which is the whole point.
There’s a Clutter Golem, and yes, a Meatball Helmet
The mod isn’t a single gag stretched thin. It adds another questline, two themed dungeons, a boss fight against the Clutter Golem, and new gear including the Meatball Helmet and the Allenblade.
And there’s a Thu’um-style power that summons KALLAX to you wherever you happen to be standing. A shout, for a bookshelf.
Where to get it
KALLAX STORAGEBORN is free through Bethesda Creations for Skyrim Special Edition on PC and Xbox. IKEA said a PlayStation version will follow soon.
Bethesda worked with IKEA directly on this, which is the detail that turns the whole thing from a fan project into something stranger.
Even IKEA knows how this sounds
The official FAQ includes the question “Is this real?”
It’s real. A flat-pack shelf now shouts back at you in Matt Berry’s voice, and somewhere in an abandoned dungeon, your missing Allen key is waiting.
